The voice of I’M FINE

I have probably written about this before, but it’s January and there are lots of new faces!

If you have just started the sober journey, welcome! You are making a choice that might just lead you to a love of freedom and limitless possibility. The life we all have, but that gets bogged down in the booze.

If you are back from a break/relapse/whatever, it’s great to see you again. Big hug.

So. It’s 10days into January. The novelty of declaring that you are quitting drinking has worn off. Perhaps you have found these 10days easy and you are beginning to hear that inner voice slyly telling you nothing was wrong. Everyone drinks. You deserve it. You haven’t lost your job, house, marriage. You are FINE. Just drink moderately.

It’s good that you can hear that voice. It is important to recognize it. And it is also important to remember that not everything we think is true. Denial, especially around addictive behaviour, is strong. No one wants to feel like they have let things get out of control. Especially not anyone how otherwise is successful and driven. I know. This thinking kept me drinking much longer than I knew I should have.

But you are here, and so you realize that perhaps alcohol is part of the problem. So, what to do?

Give sobriety a chance. Consider it an experiment. See how your life works without alcohol dulling it.

It might be itchy and uncomfortable. But it will also be bright and poignant and beautiful. You just need to keep your eyes and mind open.

There is no easy way through the first days and weeks. This is where focusing on today is helpful. When asking for help might be necessary. Even if it is scary. It is also a brave step of self compassion.

I know it’s hard to believe that a life without alcohol could be exciting, fun and happy. I can only tell you my experience…

Before I quit drinking I was constantly on edge, depressed and I felt very unnoticed and taken for granted. I didn’t feel like my family saw all I was doing for them. I believed I was trying so hard and no one recognized my effort. I was full of self pity.

Once I stopped using alcohol to drown these thoughts I quickly realized it was part of the problem. I stopped blaming everyone and everything for what was wrong in my life. I actually started to see the good.

And I realized I was worth the effort. I deserved to be clear headed. And that life really was too beautiful to bide away my time on the couch crying into my class of wine. There is SO MUCH MORE!

So stick with it. Give it some time. Write your story. Go to meeting. Whatever. You will find a world of support.

Stillness and peace,

Anne

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19 thoughts on “The voice of I’M FINE

  1. Thanks for this. It’s a great reminder of that ebb and flow — or the rollercoaster (in a good way) of the early days — that can so easily have a person hearing themselves ordering a craft beer instead of the peach green tea they were planning to have. I feel like it both has a schedule (particular to each one of us) and is supremely random. January 10 is a good time to get this nudge!

  2. So true! It’s am amazing feeling when the obsession disappears and you can focus on today, right now. Dealing with feelings that were smothered in alcohol isn’t easy but it’s worth it. There is nothing worse than the constant state of guilt, lies, shame and depression. There’s no problem that alcohol can’t make worse! I’m still fighting a daily battle but it does get easier, for sure. Thanks for your wisdom!

  3. This is an amazing post and just what I needed to read today – thank you! I’m copying it to my phone’s notes to read daily in these first few weeks. It helps so much to name these feelings and hear that it does get better if we give it time. Big hugs back to you! ❤

  4. Well said Anne!
    If you are just in your first days, I want to add that the first little bit isn’t easy and that you might find yourself thinking ” where’s all the is wonderful health and clarity that everyone is singing about? I don’t feel any better” Some things got better right away,but honestly, it takes a little time to really feel great. I actually gained weight initially ( it was all the ice cream 🍦) But please be patient and take care of yourself…it gets immeasurably better. You’re on the upside of a hump right now, and it might seem like the downside will never come…but it will…and you will be amazed.

    Day 559
    🌻

    1. Yes! So true.
      I found the first weeks very hard. My anxiety was crippling.
      But it wasn’t a sign I should drink (I wanted to think it was). It was a sign to see my doctor.

  5. Thanks Anne for your commitment to so many of us who are still struggling. Your advice is so valuable because it is rooted in real, and quite recent experience. It is much appreciated.

  6. Thank you so much Anne, I think this post is worth reading about 1000 times. Such a great reminder that while it may feel uncomfortable it is also great. To be patient and know that it will be worth it in the long run. Day 11 here. X

  7. Ditto what everyone else posted. I was the queen of “pity parties”. No more. With every day sober I become prouder and prouder of where I am going. Thank you so much for being here, for helping all of us “losers” – ha! just kidding. Your words are always amazing and so right on target.

    1. Had to come back and read this again, my mindset was teetering there for a moment, I just love this post. BTW, I’m the author of the “No More” blog, LL. 🙂 Not sure why my DP names came up, but that’s okay.

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