I have probably written about this before, but it’s January and there are lots of new faces!
If you have just started the sober journey, welcome! You are making a choice that might just lead you to a love of freedom and limitless possibility. The life we all have, but that gets bogged down in the booze.
If you are back from a break/relapse/whatever, it’s great to see you again. Big hug.
So. It’s 10days into January. The novelty of declaring that you are quitting drinking has worn off. Perhaps you have found these 10days easy and you are beginning to hear that inner voice slyly telling you nothing was wrong. Everyone drinks. You deserve it. You haven’t lost your job, house, marriage. You are FINE. Just drink moderately.
It’s good that you can hear that voice. It is important to recognize it. And it is also important to remember that not everything we think is true. Denial, especially around addictive behaviour, is strong. No one wants to feel like they have let things get out of control. Especially not anyone how otherwise is successful and driven. I know. This thinking kept me drinking much longer than I knew I should have.
But you are here, and so you realize that perhaps alcohol is part of the problem. So, what to do?
Give sobriety a chance. Consider it an experiment. See how your life works without alcohol dulling it.
It might be itchy and uncomfortable. But it will also be bright and poignant and beautiful. You just need to keep your eyes and mind open.
There is no easy way through the first days and weeks. This is where focusing on today is helpful. When asking for help might be necessary. Even if it is scary. It is also a brave step of self compassion.
I know it’s hard to believe that a life without alcohol could be exciting, fun and happy. I can only tell you my experience…
Before I quit drinking I was constantly on edge, depressed and I felt very unnoticed and taken for granted. I didn’t feel like my family saw all I was doing for them. I believed I was trying so hard and no one recognized my effort. I was full of self pity.
Once I stopped using alcohol to drown these thoughts I quickly realized it was part of the problem. I stopped blaming everyone and everything for what was wrong in my life. I actually started to see the good.
And I realized I was worth the effort. I deserved to be clear headed. And that life really was too beautiful to bide away my time on the couch crying into my class of wine. There is SO MUCH MORE!
So stick with it. Give it some time. Write your story. Go to meeting. Whatever. You will find a world of support.
Stillness and peace,