Yesterday I taught my first yoga class since March 2020 when Covid shut everything down.
It was lovely. My yoga class is called Finding Stillness. It is yin yoga and yoga nidra. During the class yesterday I had a real awakening.
I need to be still.
I have been subbing a lot of jr and sr high. I am enjoying it. I really like the kids.
That said, I realize I have not given myself space to pause and consider what I want the next chapter to be. When I was laid off at the end of July I was busy – I had a trip, I had paperwork and it was summer. Then school started and I started subbing. I started thinking I would try 2 days a week and now I am usually there every day.
It is great and I really love the students, even when it’s challenging, but it is also extremely mentally draining. some days I cover 3 or 4 different classes. So much attendance, reading plans, noise, change.
I had worked at the same company for 27 years – starting immediately after graduation from university. At 51 (for 2 more weeks, lol) I have infinite possibilities ahead of me. This is scary! And I can see I’m filling my time rather than contemplating.
Someone asked me if I could consider the next year a sabbatical. My severance cover a couple years of income. I have savings. I have a pension. I am good. Yet when asked to sub I feel the “I should” both because they need subs, but also for the money. Why? Well, I suppose that is what the stillness will tell me.
Doing, for me, is always easier than pausing and being still. Do, perform, achieve, do more. Don’t think too much.
No, that is not how i want to live my life. I want to be inspired. And I think I need some space to allow that to happen.
Next week I reach 10 years of continuous sobriety. It is amazing how quickly time passes…
Thank you for listening. If you have any advice, I would love it!
Stillness and peace
Anne
ainsobriety 
So lovely to read your blog again I have missed you x
I love you have infinite possibilities and you’re really figuring out things like how you want to be inspired and such! Congratulations on almost 10 years sobriety! Just amazing! I don’t really have any advice for you but thoroughly enjoyed reading this and hearing from you! Great things are coming your way for sure! 😃
Congratulations on 10 years , Anne! I think looking at the next year as sabbatical is a great idea. Someone once told me to try to see myself as being in the “fertile void”…….. open to possibilities not yet formed or imagined. You sound incredibly healthy and strong- great to hear you’re doing so well.
Might as ask you a question? What calls to you/lights you up? If you knew you only had one year to live, what would you spend your time doing? Or, if money were absolutely no concern at all, what hobby or interest would you pursue? It seems that now is your time to think about what’s best for YOU. You have certainly earned it! And congratulations on your upcoming soberversary!!
Follow your Heart A XX
What about a business taking small groups on yoga/sober weekends? Let me know if you’re interested. ; )