santosha

Hi

I wanted to write a post about my vacation, my trials with my mom, my awesome sister and our newfound resolve not to be manipulated. A 2 hour full primary ashtanga class with Kino Macgregor. Cool finds in Calgary. 

But instead I am dealing with the aftermath of a sewer flood. Sunday morning we woke to 3 inches or so of water in our basement. Sewer water. 

The city initially indicated it was caused by the construction on the sewer system in the area. Over 100 houses flooded. But now, of course, they are backtracking. So our insurance will cover part of the loss, but not all of it.

Generally I am dealing with this well. I called insurance, clean up, etc. I have talked to neighbours. I did what I could to save stuff. I accept this is beyond my control and have to deal with it.

But then I get low, and feel hard done by. Which is, I suppose, normal. No booze in our house. So there’s that. And I teach 2 yoga classes tonight. 

I have chosen santosha or contentment, as a theme for both classes. One is easy yoga. They other yin. Contentment comes from an acceptance of what is and a letting go of what is not. Wishing things were different is not santosha. Finding peace and gratitude in the moment is.

I woke up this morning obsessing about all the things I should have done before the flood (increased insurance, for one) or need to do. I felt shaky and anxious. And then I looked over at my sleeping daughter. 10 years old and snoring beautifully. And I closed my eyes and enjoyed that moment. Feeling her warm body beside me. This morning ritual of thanks always helps me.

With that I Realize this is just material loss. It is distressing, stuff has to be thrown out, including lots of boxes with good memories, but perhaps it is a purge of the old to make space for the new.

And as I write that I realize my new yoga notebook that I bought last week says exactly that on it. Make way for the new.

Santosha. My class quote is from Lao Tzu

“Be content with what you have;

Rejoice in the way things are.

When you realize nothing is lacking,

The whole world belongs to you.”

Stillness and peace

Anne

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18 thoughts on “santosha

  1. So sorry you are having to deal with that – it must be horrible however relaxed you try to be about it. But yes, the most important thing is there with you and she is unharmed. And you are there, with her and for her. Those things are priceless.

  2. I’m so sorry! Sounds really stressful. What a wonderful image of your daughter sleeping, though…. you’re doing the next right things 🙂 And we will look forward to hearing more about your awesome sister and resolve not to be manipulated!

  3. So sorry that this has happened but you seem to have all that is necessary to cope. Love gratitude and acceptance for how things are, well done!! I would of upped my prozac and blamed my husband!!! And.b probably have drank but so glad you can blog about this and give inspiration to folk like me!

    1. It’s times like these I am glad that both Craig and I are sober.
      The serenity prayer gets a lot of use.
      But, honestly, I feel good that I can be upset that this happened, but deal with it calmly and without drama.
      It’s not worth sacrificing my mental health for a bunch of stuff.

  4. So sorry you are going through this Anne. It sounds awful and very stressful. But you sound strong and in control. You are amazing.
    I like the idea of throwing away the old to make room for the new. But it must be hard when you are forced to do it and it being out of your control.
    You will get through this. Thank God you are all ok.
    Thinking of you. A x

  5. Love your closing thoughts. Beautiful. I actually felt a physical sensation of serenity as I read them. … Sorry to hear about your yucko-sad-mess. I hope you continue well in spite of this hurdle. Best to you.*

  6. I’m so sorry. If “The life-changing magic of tidying up” by Marie Kondo taught me one thing (and it taught me several) it’s that it’s ok to derive real joy from material things. Basements are funny places – they are where we store both our priceless possessions that we’ll never get rid of but also a lot of stuff we wish we would take the time to get rid of. Hopefully there was some of the latter in there. What a pain to have to deal with though. and lame of the city. I’m glad you are finding peace in the mayhem and that you got to take a class with kino! That’s one of my wildest dreams.

    1. It was a 2 day workshop. She was excellent. I love ashtanga. But she is way beyond me. I am not that flexible!
      Thanks. There was mostly the latter, thank goodness. Many years of stuffed animals. That I must now throw away guilt free as they are contaminated!

      Overall it is a move in the right direction. I just hope it doesn’t become too expensive. Our nanny lives down there. Fortunately she has a temporary space.

  7. I feel terrible about having whined (without wine, thankfully) about my tiny internet access problem when you are there up to your ankles in poo. You are an example to us all of stillness and peace, as ever. Thank you. Love SM x

  8. sounds awful, and yet the grace you handled it with is beautiful to hear.
    santosha, yes.

    I am reading a daily meditation book called “meditations from the Mat” by Rolf gates. have you heard of it? I just started, on day 4 today, but it’s year long.
    I love the meditations, and also that he thanks Bill w in the acknowledgment section….i think it’s going to be great.

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