I am on vacation. Visiting my parents and mother in law. And my sister and her family.
My beautiful nephew was baptized this past weekend and I have the honour of being his godmother. He is an absolute angel. I wish he lived closer. I wish his whole family was at least in the same country. But no, they are in England and I’m in northern canada.
It has been a good trip. We have spent time as a family, visited old friends, I did a yoga workshop and now we have a few more days to find fun and visit.
I was worried about the trip. My mother is hard to get along with. She is my biggest trigger by far. And trigger me she did. But this visit I had an ally. My sister and I have found a new friendship that we lacked growing up. Honestly, our mother has often pitted us against each other, growing up and now. The overt comparison and subtle criticisms had us each defending ourselves against the other. It seems sad now. And such a waste. We are both smart, kind, successful women with a lot in common.
I am not letting it happen anymore. I’m not willing to let anyone interfere with our relationship. I only have one sister, and she is an amazing person. She has given me support and love over these last months that has prompted me to reevaluate how I see myself. That’s a powerful thing.
It’s hard to look at your parent and see her behaviour as harmful. Emotionally abusive. But it is. It always has been.
Sigh. Acceptance of how things are is not always easy. But it is necessary.
Stillness and peace