I drove my son to university this week. He’s taking engineering at my Alma mater. Is it in 8 Hour Dr. away.
In Calgary he staying with his dad. Dad has a self contained basement suite just for him. Although They have had minimal contact since his dad moved out in 2018, cooper decided that this offer was right for him. Is a good choice as Cooper is very frugal. LOL. I have saved for his university and he knows his financial situation. He can afford to live alone if this doesn’t work out.
His dad currently lives with his girlfriend and their son, who is 18 months old. I remember when Craig told me he was having another baby. I was so worried my kids would feel replaced by this new baby. This Distressed me greatly. I was so upset at my kids now having a sibling who is in no way related to me…that they might never know. This caused me so much stress and heartache…and was part of what led to my breakdown in 2019. I hated Craig for doing this then. Hated.
Coop moved in over the last few days. During these days the baby baby was sick and unhappy. He had his 18 month shots and they obviously gave him a little reaction. Cooper and I tried to make as little noise as possible to not disturb the baby.
On the third day he was feeling better And went out into the backyard and Cooper and I went out to meet him and his mom, who neither of us have ever ever met. It was definitely an odd situation, to be sitting on the deck chatting with my son, my ex, his gf and their baby.
The baby looks like my son. And he is an adorable toddler. The mom was nice and said she would keep an eye on Cooper.
I suddenly realized that this baby just adds more love to my sons life. He now has another brother. This isn’t a negative. This is only a gift. It doesn’t take anything away from us.
I can’t say how this perspective came about. or why. I just was overcome with the realization that everything was exactly as it is supposed to be, and that this baby wasn’t hurting Cooper at all…or me….he was just a little boy playing out in the sun.
Perhaps it was seeing it in real life that washed away all my old protective worries and pain. I can’t guard my children’s hearts…that is a tough realization for a parent. And, even more vital, I DIDN’T NEED TO. Cooper is able to do that for himself.
Craig and I were together for 25 years. Half my life. I still love him as a person and only want good things for him in his life.
I cherish my independence and love being single. I love living life my way. I can honestly say I have come to a point where I am thankful for the suffering that has given me this new perspective.
I wouldn’t have chosen it, but, like the gift of enlightenment that came from sobriety, I am willing to accept the grace that results.
Stillness and peace