The last first day

It’s funny, 6 years sober and I still try to hide from emotional events.

Yesterday was my sons last first day of school (first day of grade 12). I almost went to work, even though I have flexibility to work from home. He told me he was ok with that.

At the last minute I stayed home, made him breakfast, took pictures and told him I love him and to enjoy his last first day of school, mask and all. And after he left I cried happy tears that my baby is grown up.

I strive for the middle path, and contentment. But I sometimes need to remember that avoiding the downs also means losing out on the highs.

Stillness and peace


21 thoughts on “The last first day

  1. I’m glad they were happy tears! I don’t know if mine are happy or sad, they are just EMOTIONAL …. we are at opposite ends of the cycle, my baby starts kindergarten (100% distance) in a few days.

  2. I am so like this, particularly as my children have gotten older. It’s like I disengage to try and protect myself and prevent feeling that ‘loss’ and pain. Often when I do engage I am so pleased and thankful I have experienced the moment. Tough time though and I’m sending love 💕

  3. So hard to let them go but go they must. My youngest child leaves for uni next week and it will be the first time in our relationship that hubby and i have been home alone!! Thank God we are sober!!

  4. Ahhh, I have a senior this year too. Bittersweet. I had a mild panic attack the other day when I realized he’ll be applying to colleges in the next few months. A good reminder treasure the little moments. Hugs to you! 💕

  5. Someone I once worked with said parenting is about a series of losses as they move away from you and become independent beings – with 2 adult daughters now I know they will always need me and the more mutual relationship is a gift I treasure xxx

  6. Anne, OMG he’s so big!! Sometimes we forget that young adults still need us to be their mom, particularly boys. He’ll remember all of this and so will you. You’re crushing it mom-wise, as always! ❤

  7. Oh, It only gets worse. My baby moved to NY and in with his fiancee. Be happy he is well-adjusted and healthy! I try to concentrate on that.

  8. We really can’t truly how simultaneously wonderful and challenging it is to see our kids growing up until they and we are getting there… I love that you point the way. Beautiful, Anne. Hugs. xoxo

  9. Stillness and peace to you Anne. The lows and the highs often make life difficult when we’d rather be in the middle of the road, even when the road is tough, but those highs make the lows worth the fight in the end I think…hugs xo

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