Bear with me…I have another analogy today about my life….
Our life has been like a puzzle. After many years of placing pieces we had created a lovely family picture. There were four of us, smiling, content. To get to this point has taken work from us both, independently and together.
Craig’s affair broke off his part of the puzzle. The pieces were thrown to the wind..damaged to a point they could never be put back where they were.
I’m left with The remaining part of the old picture…a picture of me and my two awesome kids. To smooth out the new edges I’m forced to continue dismantling the puzzle.
I changed my bedroom furniture, I sold my old van, I submitted all my financial document to get the divorce going. Each action is a removing of a piece of the puzzle that represents craig, and it is painful to do. I don’t want to be the one choosing to change the picture…but I can’t change the truth. The new picture only has three people in it.
Of course, it is still a lovely picture. And there are now seven pets joining us. Seems like a reasonable trade for one human.
I still have quite a few pieces to figure out. I’m not rushing them, but I’m doing it. The chance that the new picture is even better than the old is too attractive…just like sobriety!
Sometimes you just have to have faith.
Stillness and peace,
20 thoughts on “Puzzle pieces”
That is a good analogy, Anne.
Love and light I send to you!
I appreciate your positive and empowering approach to your recent events and that you are maintaining and thriving in your sobriety as well.
I’m glad it comes across as positive. I have definitely cried a lot, but most days I realize I’m still content. I’m still ok. And the world is still full of beautiful moments when I look around.
It may take some time, but the three of you will have a beautiful, peaceful life together.
Protect yourself from those who don’t have your best interests in mind. It’s painful, but will be for the best.
It’s hard to believe craig doesn’t have our best interests at heart after all these years, but his actions show otherwise.
I’ll take your advice. Thank you!
The fact that my husband refused counseling and insisted I be medicated told me everything. He didn’t have my best interests at heart; only wanted what was easiest path for himself. Trying to face that, what I considered a betrayal, and be reconciled with it was the hardest, most painful aspect of my work. It’s a long story but I realized I couldn’t fully heal with him in my life so I filed for divorce. The most painful experience of my life but worth every tear shed. Forgiving him came next. It’s been 8 years. And for the record- it’s also been 8 years since having an “episode” and I’m med free. Healthier, happier and stronger in every way…. as you will be. Great post- you are on your way Anne.
Wow – that’s what mine did. Always what was easiest.
I started owning words. When I bought My house, versus when We bought Our house. I don’t say I’m divorced, I just say single mom. “When I went to Colorado” versus I went to Colorado on my honeymoon. This really changed the course of my grief. I started to feel less like the victim and started to fully own my past as something “I” did. Every so often I still get a little tongue tied but I have almost forgotten that I didn’t actually do these things alone!! It was a very powerful shift for me.
I like that a lot.
This is a wonderful post that shows how you are processing and dealing. I have been trying to think of something wonderful and wisdom filled for you but really I’m drawing a blank. It might not feel like it but you really are making great progress and steps towards healing. Sending hugs XOX
I used to think that all I could do was make the best of a bad situation — that I would forgive and move one, but that I would always be stuck in regret and the way I thought things should have worked out. But you’re right, Anne, it really was more like getting sober. I could not have imagined that life could be so much better once I removed myself from the drama.
Sending you healing thoughts. 💕
This post and these comments help me tremendously in a time of so much fear and uncertainty in my marriage and my struggle to get sober. Thank you all.
I heard your story on The Bubble Hour (about the fires in your town) and could relate to staying sober not just in spite of adversity, but rather as a choice you made to fight and stay in control.
I think that podcast was done in 2016.
Then I log-in here and see you are still blogging and still fighting. Keep up the good work on both fronts.
Just know that we are all still here, still listening, still so impressed with your outlook and effort. The peace and stillness you so often wish for others will come to you. I suspect it already has, perhaps in ways smaller than we might all hope for. But peace and stillness, nevertheless.
Well done you. 💕 Well done for being brave. I wish I was as brave as you. K. X
Thank you Anne, for your message of faith. I needed that today.
This is so true. Our life is one of those thousand piece puzzle sets found in a plane box with no picture on the outside. Each piece contains a little window of the stories we’ve told.
The tragic are those pieces lost or damaged but the true beauty are the ones that are found. You’ve discovered some new pieces in your life. Here’s to finding several more.
Excellent post. Thank you for this.
Hey Anne – just been thinking how it’s been a while and so came on here to see if I’d missed some posts but I hadn’t. Hope you’re holding up okay, or finding your way better than okay. Love x
Hey! Thank you
I need to post something. Life is moving alone. I’m doing ok!!!
I hope you are too!