This is a question we all face. Do I keep writing? If so? Why? And what?
I had absolutely no thoughts that I would be wringing a sober blog for 4 years. When I started this I don’t think I even planned to be sober for 4 years….
But here I am.
I continue to blog because I love the connection. I love having a safe space to explore my own though process. I love to share my story in the hopes it might make a difference to someone else. Maybe I could help them, or myself, avoid even a bit of future suffering. This is part of my yoga.
I blog when something inspires or annoys me. After all, it’s my space. I get to say what I want!
I blog when I am scared and struggling. The love and kindness that comes from strangers, the coping strategies and stories. They all help me see myself more clearly. Gh to do that when in the midst of crisis.
And I blog to remind myself that the foundation for my current life is sobriety. This life is formed by honesty, self compassion and contentment. It is important to remember that my drinking life involved lying, shame and self hatred. I know alcohol, was not the sole reason for that, but it was my coping mechanism to avoid dealing with them.
I fear that adding alcohol back into my life would welcome back those negatives as well. It might also shake the mental health stability that I work hard to maintain.
I don’t love in fear of alcohol. I don’t really think about it much. Except to be grateful to myself that I saw the writing on the wall and quit when I did.
I don’t underestimate the power of that gratitude. I have seem people with long term sobriety relapse and it is not fun. I try very hard to make my life as enjoyable and fulfilling as possible.
For me, the connection to the blogging world is a reaffirmation daily that I accept my sober life as it is and I choose to live it the best way I can. One day at a time.
Stillness and peace