Hard days make me tired

I had a hard day today. I felt undervalued and criticized at work.

Sometimes a hard day sucks everything out of me and I am surprised at how easily I slip back into the thoughts that nothing really matter, that no one cares, that I am alone. Dark thoughts.

I see them. It disappoints me that they are still there, but I have found if I tell others that they exist they aren’t quite so scary.

And one of my good friends reminded me that I am the sky. These thought are just the weather. Some days have rain clouds. Some have beautiful sunshine.

I will take extra care tonight. Maybe a warm bubble bath, cozy Pajamas and bed.

I hope my stillness and peace feels a bit closer tomorrow.

Anne

Ps sometimes I wonder if it’s good to write about these hard days. But I find it helps me to be able to look back and see my own ups and downs. The hard thing about depression is when it shows up I just can’t believe it will ever end.

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30 thoughts on “Hard days make me tired

  1. I like the words of wisdom from your friend, that is a good way to think about things.
    I often get really stressed at work too but coming home is the best part. I’ve learned to mostly turn off when I’m out the door.

  2. Thank you for sharing this, you help others when you share realistically. If sobriety was easy we’d have sussed it years ago. I find it’s exactly days like that that I drank on. Well done for getting through it, self compassion is where it’s at…hugs S x

  3. It must have been the weather all around yesterday! I love the analogy. Thanks for sharing. I’m putting this one on a sticky note for a reminder on days with yucky weather! “I am the sky”.

  4. I’m sorry you had a shitty day, but your friend is right. And I hope you had a peaceful, self comforting evening. And yes, please write about the bad days. It’s the bad days you need to get out, and also show and help others, that it’s not all roses all the time, but it passes, and we’re all Human, and in this together. Xxx

  5. Hoping the “weather” is better today. I had the feeling in my car the other morning that everything, “absolutely EVERYTHING” was horrible in my life. I quietly said, “You can’t have me today, so go away.” I don’t remember when it passed, but I do know it passed. Thank you for sharing your recovery. ♥

  6. I love your friend’s weather analogy to express our good and bad days. I’m keeping that one. I could have used it one day last week – just woke up feeling crappy emotionally and physically. Please keep sharing all that you do – the sunshine, the storm clouds, everything! You are loved and valued deeply here in this community Anne so I’m sending huge hugs 😘xo

  7. So sorry you had a tough day…but so glad you posted! It’s helpful to hear and know that it’s not all “rainbows and sunshine” as some say…that everyone has hard days, and we can get through them and still be okay! Life happens and it’s not all great, but we can make the best of what we’ve got! Hoping your pj’s and bed were the bit of comfort that you needed! Hugs.

  8. I’m glad you posted Anne, your authenticity is what keeps us all glued to your blog. It is a bit of a dark and dreary time of year around our part of the world, not much to do except get cozy inside and hit the Netflix. Maybe all the goofs at work are having the same kind of day and let it loose on you. You are hugely important to many,many people out in the recovery world,you are valued here.
    Day 581
    🌻

  9. I agree that you are just awesome 👏 I value your support so much, you give so much to a complete stranger, and with such thought and consideration.i hope the weather feels better today 🙂

  10. Firstly, I hope you are feeling a bit brighter today. Like you when I get depressed I think “this is it, this will be the one that won’t quit” but on the flip side, when I am feeling good I think my depression isn’t as bad as I remember.
    Blog about the good and the bad, it might help normalise for others how they feel and realise it’s not just them.

  11. I hope today is much better and brighter for you Anne and you’re back in touch with your stillness and peace.

    I also think that the sharing of the bad days is inspiring to others, a reminder of how a day doesn’t have to be totally together and perfect to still be a valuable sober day.

    Hugs and strength to you x

  12. Hope today is a much better day. I like the idea of being the “sky”, there’s beauty in every phase is shows.

  13. Anne,
    I chuckled a little when I read your post. Not because of your experience, but because of how you responded.
    I shared (very recently) the same Pema Chodron quote with a mutual online buddy who was having a hard day. It is so fitting and so true.
    Here’s how I know you will be OK. When times are challenging, you are the kind of person who takes some action. You take out your Pema book and look for inspiration. You get out your pen (or computer) and write. You reach out for understanding and support. You intentionally plan and implement self care.
    I am thinking of you today and hoping you experienced moments of stillness and peace. If it is still dark, I am sending energy for a warm and tender heart of compassion until the darkness passes.
    Hugs and care
    Deb

  14. Today a freind(ter in my bad times too) said to me that you can have a brilliant day and one bad thing can ruin it.he told me how powerful one negitive thought is and when i have one to rem good in the rest of your day as quick as i can and dnt dwell on the one bad thing caz it grows quickly..

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