I responded to a blog today and thought I would share.
It’s really hard to quit drinking when you are drinking problematically. No one wants to end up drunk on a park bench…but some do. Those same people were probably once drinking Pinot Grigio out of a crystaL wine glass. That’s an important reality. Even the worst addict was once a 5 year old, with their whole life ahead of them.
Here’s what I wrote…
I wish I had an answer. I spent quite a bit of time where you are. I loved to drink. All my friends drank. My hubby and I drank together. We have excellent jobs, a lovely house, nice kids. Savings. No one could say we needed to change anything.
I stopped because I hated how regretful I felt when I wasn’t drinking. I hated the feeling of doom and guilt and the little inner voice that said I drank too much and wasn’t as good a parent as I could be. I hated the hangovers and paranoia and anxiety. But I liked to drink, and I could not fathom life differently. People who didn’t drink weren’t even on my radar.
Figuring out life sober was strange. I wavered between relief, anger, grief and moments of deep peace. I became severely depressed and rarely left the house.
It took a few months before I realized I was no longer angry I had quit drinking. That the empty time wasn’t boring, just time.
The clarity of sobriety is something I never had before. My soul is truly at peace. I feel moments of pure contentment.
I also have shorty days and boring days and hard days.
But I know the bliss is there. And it will return if I nurture myself and don’t numb with alcohol or drugs.
I quit when I was 42. Im not sure I would have given up the fun boozing years before that…but I am grateful now that nothing really bad ever happened…
Take care of yourself. There’s no easy way.
Stillness and peace