Wine dispensers

Hi all,

I was going to wrote a real post, with an actual theme connecting sobriety and the yoga sutras, but right now I must just comment on the wine dispensers in the hotel I’m staying in…

They are everywhere! Part of me is annoyed I never got to buy wine at will from a vending machine.

The rest of me is relieved I won’t be buying wine all night out if a vending machine. Because I am in Quebec City with my 12 year old daughter having an adventure. A wine vending machine would have meant a whole lot of hotel room and not much fun. Not what a 12 year old needs. Not one bit.

Tonight we are heading across the street to see The Who. Tomorrow is Metallica. And Saturday is the reason we are here. The Gorillaz play. Cleo’s favourite.

In the past week I have been to vegas, edmonton and now Quebec City. The highlight of the summer so far was Monday nights Duran Duran concert. Cleo and I sang and danced every minute. I was 15 again. And, like at Garth brooks, the swell of memories brought tears to my eyes. Those moments when things just seem exactly perfect are so lovely. 

I am amazed at how much enjoyment live music has brought to my life. When I was drinking I said I hated live music because of the crowds. I was missing so much!

Not anymore!

Stay sober. There is so much to do when you walk by the wine dispensers!

Stillness and peace,


26 thoughts on “Wine dispensers

  1. Sounds like you’re on a great adventure! And in a place where you can truly appreciate itπŸ’›

  2. That sounds so fun!
    Meanwhile, I get the wine dispenser thing…every once in a whileI’ll see something that looks good and I quit drinking before I could try it….a pang of “oh” and immediate gratitude and laughter at my own silliness.

  3. Gee wizz you go to a lot of concerts! Sounds great. We don’t have wine vending machines here (that I know if) wow that takes it to a whole new level. Not what anyone needs, especially me. Have a great time with your daughter!

    1. I really think that if a person can shift from feeling deprived to realizing just how much they get back that that’s when sobriety truly is joyful.

      And precious. Because we can forget that. That was exactly what I was going to wrote about initially! And will when I get home!

      1. “if a person can shift from feeling deprived to realizing just how much they get back that’s when sobriety truly is joyful” – I love this!

  4. Wine vending machines. I’ve eyed those covetously. Better to stay away. You’re having so much more closeness with your daughter, and fun, staying away. Enjoy!

  5. You just totally rule. Only problem with this post is that I wasn’t at Duran Duran with you two. Might take me a whole to get over that!! Keep having the best time xxx

  6. I admire you SO much and love following you and your concerts….a total inspiration. The yoga sutras, I am studying now (33 is my favorite). I need to read back but if you have a few extra moments can you post how you got through the first 30 days? I am struggling and have been for awhile and am finally ready to connect and commit. Hugs, Christy

    1. I didn’t blog until about 6 months.
      My first 30 days were very hard.
      On day 1 I declared out loud that I was taking a year off wine. I called a therapist that day. I also cleaned out all the booze from the house.

      I then spent most of the month (December) in a state of distress. I took baths every night. I read books about changing habits. And I started going to yoga.

      I also did the Brene brown art course on the gifts of imperfection. It is very unlike me, but it was something new and I needed to start believing in myself, even just a little. I was so lost.

      Slowly I found things that helped me. After reading Drink I found bloggers and emailed Unpickled, who has turned out to be a good friend.

      During this time my husband went to treatment. It was crazy. Unexpected and in the end the best thing that could have happened.

      As the fog lifted I accepted I needed to try an antidepressant to get through the first year. I still take it. I needed it long ago. It keeps me out of the pit of despair.

      At around 90 days I stopped reading all the anti AA stuff and went to a meeting. I like to hear the honesty. I don’t like Las of it, and I don’t have a sponsor, but it is a place of love and support.

      I tell me story on the Mother’s Day bubble hour from May 2014. I’m not sure if it would be helpful, but it’s there. I was on again last year after the fire evacuations.

      The yoga sutras have it all. Have you read meditations from the mat by Rolf Gates? If not it is worth every penny.

      At some point I just was so tired of lying to myself that I was ok. I wasn’t ok. I was so very sad and disappointed in me. That’s the hardest side of addiction. The person suffering has no sympathy for themselves. Just anger.

      You can do this! You can find freedom. It is so worth it.


      1. Thank you so much for this and for your honesty. It seems I’ve been trying forever, but I suppose I haven’t been ready. I think I am now. I am lost and sad and disappointed in myself every day. I will certainly go back and listen to your Bubble Hour podcast and I’ve seen that book by Rolf Gates, just never picked it up. I’ll look into it. My husband drinks a lot too so this will have to be all about me….I am strong willed though and want a better life for myself! Thank you for being here, you are so encouraging and helpful! Hugs πŸ™‚

  7. A wine vending machine… I’ve this vision of a robotic arm with a linen napkin draped over it pouring a small amount into a glass with an electronic voice saying “Would madame like to taste?”

    Now – there is exposed my great fantasy that one day I’d actually appreciate all this “It’s very fruity, I’m getting cranberries” etc. Rather than … Hmmm 12% that’ll get me drunk quick!

  8. I totally get you with pop up thought ‘I wish I had got to use a wine dispenser’ (but not wanting to now!)
    It’s funny as I’m used to that way of thinking – it’s a shame, but not really because this is my choice – I have that with veggie/veganism a lot. Looks tasty/fun, but my choice to be without. And the better choice (for me! No preaching!)

    Obviously we still all (on here) think about booze and life before sobriety a lot and today I mentioned I didn’t drink in conversation with someone. She looked shocked and I moved on because I couldn’t be arsed to talk about it. Not awkward, shy, nervous – just cba, cause whatever. I’m sober, and..? (Not to be read in an aggressive tone..) never thought I’d get to that stage – but now I have, I look back on how in the later years I’d drink to make me happy and it made me worse (which was VERY confusing) and how it was my life and I didn’t even like it. Now, like you, I live life, I stop and breathe life, I have more emotions than ever but they’re real!!! You get to actually enjoy time with your daughter. Remember it! And people think we are the weirdos? Sorry if it’s a bit rambley – still on my 4/5 hour sleeps but wanted to reply!! Xx

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