I keep meaning to write and then all that comes out is a sort of sad, slow whine about travelling too much and feeling like an outsider in my home town…
So I keep breathing, and doing, and remembering what I was up to in May before the evacuation. And things slowly start to feel less disjointed.
I am currently in vegas at psycho Las Vegas. Metal. Alice Cooper and blue oyster cult are headliners, but there are lots of randomn bands. Lots of tattoos and black clothes and head bangers. Lol. Craig and I met some others at the pool party last night and shared a cabana. They were varying stages of completely wasted, but we had fun.
We are here for 6 days. I am embracing it as my rest. I have purged the house and the garage. I have given bags of clothing and household goods away to people who lost everything. I have restarted teaching yoga. I have resumed my life.
I see others around who did not fare well during the evacuation. Drinkers who slide further into problems. Sober friends who relapsed. All trying to find out how to create a new normal. Without destroying themselves with shame and regret.
It is a heart wrenching thing. And it reinforces my belief in sobriety as the best choice for anyone. We all have stress and trauma. It’s hard to know how each of us will deal with it. But sober provides the foundation to keep moving. Or to start rebuilding. Because I today is the perfect day to begin to live again, especially if you have found yourself floundering.
I’m going to get another tattoo! Because…Vegas!
Stillness and Peace