Update 

The past week has been one of the longest in my life!

So much happened. 

Basically, we evacuated through flames, escaping our city with 88,000 others and heading south down the one highway in and out of town. We spent a night at a lake south of the city, with a large group, in a nice house. The next morning we considered staying there, but decided to join the mass of people heading further south to Edmonton, which is a major city. Thank god, as the lake we were at evacuated later that night.

Through crazy driving, gas line ups, driving the wrong way on the highway and gridlock we made it to Edmonton. And have since come south to Calgary.

Since then I have been up and down. One day I cried and stomped my feet and wanted to go home. 

The news have been scary. Looking at the flames burn parts of the city was horrifying. Watching the firemen hold back “the beast” was amazing. Every day brought more worry. And more relief as we saw picture of our house still standing.

On Saturday I found a yoga class and went. I cried and cried. 

A lovely studio in calgary yogadotcalm has given me free access to their Mysore practice this week. I am learning more about ashtanga. It is awesome. Physically and emotionally I am shaky and anxious and sweaty, but each day is a bit better.

From my practice I have been able to reconnect with my inner stillness and peace. I remember that this moment truly is all that matters. I let go of the fear that I am carrying since the evacuation. I stop obsessing over what will happen tomorrow or next week. I relax in what is.

I wish I could have zen and peace all the time. That I wasn’t shaken and shattered by things around me. But that wouldn’t be healthy. I still want it, though.

Sobriety is my foundation. Numbing is not an option. Instead I am going through this experience. I have asked for mental health support. I am taking it easy. I am eating.

Life is going on. We are finding a new normal day by day. And when we return I will be part of the rebuilding of my beautiful city.

Thank you for all the love and support. It has saved me.

Stillness and peace

Anne

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38 thoughts on “Update 

  1. It is so good to hear you are safe and taking care of yourself. Watching it on the news has been horrifying enough, but living it, as you are, I can’t even imagine. I am in awe of your strength and courage and your determination to stay focused on staying healthy. Take good care.

  2. Anne, thanks for the update. I have been wondering how you’re doing. I guess you wouldn’t be human if you weren’t deeply shaken by all that’s happened this week, and then you wouldn’t experience the world fully, or be able to support others as much as you do. It sounds like you are coping amazingly well. Very glad to hear your house is still standing, too! Big hug to you! xo

  3. Thank you for the update. It’s really good to read your words and see how you are doing. Congratulations on staying sober and finding some peace throughout all of this. I can’t begin to imagine what you are going through.

  4. The news footage I have seen here in the UK has been terrifying. I am pleased you are safe and I think you are amazing for coping as well as you are. Keep looking after yourself x

  5. Great to hear from you, I’m so glad you’re ok. I kept thinking about where you might be staying, how it was going etc.
    I’m also in awe of how you are coping. Stay safe. Hugs x

  6. Dear Anne,
    Good to hear from you. I am happy for you that your house is still standing. Wow. The online footage was horrendous.
    Wonderful that you have a place at the yoga studio, wonderful :-). I admire your coping skills. Hang in there (and let yourself be taken care of sometimes too 🙂 )
    xx, Feeling

  7. Oh, Anne! You are SO strong! You are so brave and courageous. It is inspiring the way that you are seeking grounding in what you know works. I am so encouraged by this post. I am wishing you so much more strength to carry on through whatever comes next and to deal with all the messy, distressing stuff that you are *choosing* not to numb. ❤️❤️❤️

  8. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your fellow towns people. I have been following the horror reports on T V here in Ireland. What a devastation. Take care of yourself Frances

  9. I keep sending loving vibes your way Anne! I can’t imagine what you, your family, your whole community and town are going through. The rest of Canada is keeping you all in our thoughts and prayers. So glad you have such a strong foundation to support you through this. Please let us know if you need anything. xo

  10. Dear Anne, thank you for letting us know. I am so glad to here that you are safe and well. I think of you often and am amazed at your strength. Stay safe. A x

  11. Sending you, your family and the people of your town much love and many many good thoughts. I”m so glad you found Mysore….
    hugs

  12. Hi Anne, I have been thinking of you every day and praying for you. I’ve even told others when commenting on the dreadful fire about my worries for my friend there. You’re strength is an inspiration. Noddy x

  13. OMG! Just read this. I am glad you are safe and it’s always so easy to say, “At least you’re safe, and that’s true, but I am so sorry for the losses you and your city are suffering.

  14. Holy I have been watching it all on the news and all over fb. So sorry you had to experience that first hand, but happy to hear you’re safe xo. Hugs from me!

  15. Glad you are okay. Like someone else said, you wouldn’t be human if you didn’t feel shaken by what has occurred. The wonderful thing is that it hasn’t destabilised you. As you rightly point out, numbing is futile, the stillness and peace will return and this whole experience will make you stronger. ((Big hug))

  16. It’s good to hear from you, I have been thinking about you since your last post. I was displaced by flooding 15 years ago. I’m glad you have found a yoga community to help you deal with the stress. You”re setting a wonderful example for your kids. xx

  17. I watched the coverage on the TV here of the evacuation – I just couldn’t believe the flames and then the aftermath that was shown. Mother nature showing us that whatever we may think we do not command all on this planet.

    Glad you are safe and well and wishing you a speedy return home

  18. Hello, I think this is my first time commenting on your blog. I’m so glad that you’re safe and that your house is still standing but so sorry you’ve had to live such a nightmare experience. I don’t use the word ‘inspiring’ liberally but this post is just that. I can still see myself sabotaging my own efforts in far less extreme situations but aspire to be able to deal with randomly awful shit in a real and positive way, like you have done. Sending love and strength. xx

  19. Wow, Anne. This is crazy. I’m so sorry for you and the rest of your town. What resliance you’re showing! It reminds of a line from the literature. How we can meet “calamity with serenity.” Prayers and peaceful wishes.

  20. Hi Anne, I am so glad to hear your update. You and your family have been through alot. It sounds like you are taking good care of yourself and finding your yoga, and this is a wonderful thing for your children to experience. Their mom is present. Hugs, Teresa

  21. I’m so sorry for all your losses. I hope you can find just a fraction of the support from these comments that you have given to so many others in the past. Namaste, Anne.

  22. I’ve been off the internet since last week as I’ve been travelling, but I saw news reports of the fire and remembered that in a previous post you’d said you lived in Fort McMurray. So I was thinking of you every day and hoping you were all right. So happy to hear you are safe, and I wish you the best as you get ready to return to a city changed by fire. You strength will serve you well in that, as it has through your sober journey.

  23. I cannot imagine how hard this all is, and just so glad you are okay. You are so strong, and an inspiration. Sending you love and hugs from London xx

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