Are you Ready?

The idea of being ready to quit drinking has come up recently. I may have written about this before, but I am too lazy to look back. And, who knows, my thoughts may be different today.

Can you be ready to quit drinking? And, if so, how would you know?

If you are waiting until it is simple and doesn’t take any effort, pain, work, sweat or tears, you will never be ready. Your addictive, compulsive thoughts will convince you that all these things mean sobriety isn’t for you. You will convince yourself that your are supposed to be sitting alone, drinking yourself into oblivion. Because you deserve it, and it’s fun and everyone else is doing it, and you still have a job and you aren’t that bad…..yet

There is an other possibility…

You are ready if you want things to be different. If you are tired of feeling crappy. If things feel like they are getting out of control. If you want to live, instead of slowly dying. If so, it is time to take action. Go to a meeting, call a therapist, ask for help. Do Something. Put in the work. Hold on to the possibility that life can only get better. That happiness and freedom are on the other side of the fear of sobriety.

Waiting until your are ready for any change is an illusion. It implies we think we can control life. This desire for control is the root of our suffering. We want things to go a certain way, and when they don’t, we blame our family, karma, the universe, ourselves. We assume that because something is uncomfortable, or difficult, it is wrong for us.

Or they do go our way, and we take it as a sign we are being favoured.  That luck is on our side.

But, in reality, things are as they are.

If you want things to be different today, make them different. Choose life. Take the risk.

Stillness and peace

Anne

 

 

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34 thoughts on “Are you Ready?

  1. Great post, so very true 🙌🏼

    And couldn’t help but sing your title and think of KoRn – ARE YOUUU REAAADYYY??! Aaaaoowww! *metal scream*

  2. It is as though you read my mind this evening. Thank you. I wrote a post on my blog about half an hour before finding your post; your words are so apt, it is uncanny. Annie x

  3. this is so difficult. I’m still plodding along though. The crappy things are far less crappy with alcohol removed from the equation. At the time that I walked into AA in January the situation in my personal life was one that everyone says gives you a license to drink. I knew I needed a clear head to deal with it, and it’s been ugly and raw and painful but not as bad because I am sober. There truly is no perfect time to quit

  4. Great words. I enjoy all of those cliches that come to mind – when you get sick and tired of being sick and tired – without change, there is no change – and so forth. I have been sober for over three decades now. Until I was ready to consider taking any necessary steps, all of my attempts were futile. When I decided to go to any lengths to deal with my alcoholism, not drinking became the easiest thing in the world. Without question, the absolute best decision I ever made in my entire life – without exception.

    1. Wow – just love your conviction – 3 decades – A) congratulations and B) Wow – impressive and you are still feeling really good about that. Amazing

  5. Beautifully put! Thanks for the continued inspiration. Today was a really hard day and I needed a reminder to keep doing this. Xoxo

  6. So true! I kind of think of it like when you’re learning to ski, and you think there’s going to be a perfect place to turn and you’re snowplowing and worrying or maybe starting to go too fast, but then you learn you just need to plant your pole and you can plant it pretty much anywhere and when you do, then you make the turn around the already planted pole. Well, that’s the image that works for me, anyway. It’s much more about keeping moving than it is about choosing. The illusion of control sure is a powerful one in our culture, though. Love to see you giving voice to another way of thinking! xo

  7. when i was relapsing on and off last year and asking for help (online forums), i was simply told “you’re not ready to stop, you’ll stop when you’re ready.” While I agree, that’s not reason NOT to help someone or give advice. I’ve encountered that way too much. Because I was more than ready, I just didn’t know HOW to do it. Plus, how can anyone know if someone else is ready? People forced into recovery (legal or otherwise, may not be “ready”, but end up being very successful in recovery. Recovery is such a personal experience, and I feel that no one can truly know what another one feels. This post is the PERFECT example to show someone struggling instead of saying “you’re not ready.” Thanks for putting so eloquently, and not just telling people “you’re not ready”, and instead encourage them by telling them WHAT they can do to help, and that there isn’t a “perfect time”, but when you do stop, you will find its all on “perfect timing” with your world. I’m saving this post, and anytime I see someone give that “you’re not ready” comment, I’m sharing this.

  8. Love it Love it Love it – so very true! Day 11 for me and this time it is just going to be different because I am committed – finally. Great words!

  9. I so needed this today. I’m tired of being scared of the unknown. I’m sick and tired of the shame, aniexty and negative effects on myself and my family. I’m finally ready to take the leap. Day One, let’s do this.

      1. It is such a hard cycle. Try something different. Look for help- dr, therapist, Aa. This is not just a bad habit, it is a compulsive behaviour and it feeds on those feelings of disappointment.

        It frustrates me so badly that I couldn’t control or trust my own actions. I was otherwise so responsible and rigid.

        Today can be the start of something completely new!

  10. Thank your for this! It’s so true in any relationship that is no longer working. It’s about doing one thing-taking one step. The first step. Day 83 for me. That first step was a long time coming with a lot of baby steps leading up to it. But so worth it!

  11. My idea of “ready” was hitting the lowest low, in the end. Otherwise I had an excuse at every turn: too young, not long enough as a problem drinker, not enough alcohol volume consumed to be truly problematic.

    The day I was ready I decided to put it first. And here I am over 800 days later…

  12. I know this is an older post, but I always know when I am ready. As someone who quits over and over I can tell when I’m ready for no drinking as opposed to saying I’m not going to drink, then giving in on day 4. When I’m ready I can stop for many weeks, usually about 10ish. It’s a fram of mind thing. My problem is in staying stopped. I don’t know when that will happen and what it’s going to take? I keep hoping that ‘this time will be the time’, but it never is. I need to find the mind frame for staying stopped.

  13. Very inspiring and much need today as I begin my day one. I will have to look into your book, it looks fabulous and stillness is exactly what I need! My husband often says I’m like a shark…if I stop moving I might die! Doesn’t he know that might be a sign I’m overwhelmed 😉

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