I can still dance!

  

My trip with my family was great. Five Finger Death Punch was awesome. They have become far and away my favourite band. It seems so bizarre, as they are so much harder than my usual yoga ish music. But it brings back memories of big hair and guitars from my teen years. Lol

One thing I worried about in sobriety was that I would never dance again. I admit, I am not the most coordinated person in the world. Yoga has given me a new appreciation for my body, and perhaps a deeper awareness as to where it is and what it is doing. But yoga class and dancing in public are not the same.

How wrong I was. I moved and danced and sang along. I shook my hair and wished I could play guitar. 

I think back and I realize even drinking I was always painfully self conscious about how I looked. How was my body? Was my stomach in? Was I smiling? Was I standing right? On and on these thoughts plagues me.

 Anxiety is a mean and demanding companion.

I don’t have this anymore. I rarely even think about how I look, my facial expression, my body. I am relaxed. My thoughts are much softer.

So dancing was easy. I just went with the music. I let the beat move me. It was relieving and fun.

It’s small things like this that illustrate how life changed in a way I was scared about, that I really thought would be a loss, but turned out to be such an improvement.

Take that step. 

Stillness and peace

Anne  

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23 thoughts on “I can still dance!

  1. Hi Anne!
    So glad you had a great time!
    I am learning that same lesson. I was so scared getting sober would be the worst thing ever. Ha. Now I know that is so far from the truth!
    I love dancing, too!
    xo
    Wendy

  2. It’s so weird but this time round I have danced in public and not given it a thought!! I don’t know if it’s just that as I’m getting older I don’t care what folk think but I’m loving it. Before, I either danced sober and tortured so self concious or out of my face looking ridiculous thinking I was a cross between Madonna and mick jagger!! Grateful for being sober. Sounds like you are surprisingly yourself too!!

  3. That is fantastic! I am looking forward to the day when I can dance without alco to mask the insecurity. Your post inspires me. 🙂

  4. Dancing is such a release… I hope I can too let go without the drink, when the times come to DANCE dance dance! 🙂

  5. I want that sense of peace that you have…I get glimpses of it at times and it’s encouraging to see how your journey is taking you to peace and acceptance…your journey sparks hope in me. Thank you
    Jenn

  6. Woo, dancing at a concert! I haven’t been to a concert in years. I rarely drank at concerts, and if I did, it was generally because I wasn’t really there for the music. I saw Robert Plant and Jimmy Page years and years ago, and I think my friend and I were the only sober people in the venue. When I saw Rush, I was stone-cold sober because I wanted to soak up the experience.

    The more I drank, the less I went out, and with young kids, I told myself that my concert days were done. I’m rethinking that now. There’s good music in my city, so I need to get out there and hear some of it. I just need to convince myself that I can stay up past 10 PM….

  7. I love how the recovery blogosphere lets us feel normal about triumphantly doing the little things that other people take for granted. So many times I’ve thought, “I’m laughing! I’m relaxed and laughing!” in the same way that you describe dancing unselfconsciously — er, unselfconscious until we catch ourselves and become conscious, but then keep going in a good way. Yay you Anne!

    1. So true. I often wonder how “normal people” think…but then I remember there is no such thing. Lol

      Everyone struggles. We are just lucky, because when we overcome even small obstacles we allow ourselves to celebrate.

      Rejoice in the ordinary and then every day is a miracle!

      1. “Rejoice in the ordinary…” I love it. I’m sure I’ve heard this before, but needed to hear it again. Last night, I rejoiced in a relaxed dinner out without worrying about how the food I was eating was prepared or whether I was going to be hungry or full. I just sat there thinking, “This is so amazing. I can’t believe I almost didn’t want to come here. I’m so glad I didn’t back down. I’m so grateful and overjoyed to be with my friend!” I’m making it a goal to find more moments like that. ❤️

  8. Letting go of caring how you’re perceived by the world has powerful consequences. Powerful, empowering consequences! So glad to read about your wonderful trip and the wholehearted new memories you brought back!

  9. I love this- I am the same stomach checking kind of person and I’m finally getting to where I don’t worry all the time if I’m looking just right. Lol, it sounds so self absorbed when I say it, but you’re right- it’s anxiety through and through. xo

  10. Go you Anne – I bet you’re a rock star on the dance floor! Whenever I think a drink is in order because I feel left out, I remind myself that I am not losing anything, but gaining so much by not drinking. And posts like yours remind me of that. I want calm and normal….Thank you!!

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