18 months in

18 months. On day 1 that seemed like an unachievable milestone. So far in the future that if I ever made it to that point surely I would be fixed and able to drink again.
The sounds crazy just to type. First, I wasn’t broken, I was lost and confused and I thought wine was my friend – helping me make it through my busy and stressful life. Although inside I knew deep down that it was no longer helping me at all.

And able to drink to celebrate my sobriety? After making it that far booze-free that it would be the reward? Insanity.

Instead – it is just another day. Another day of being me, trying to remember that loving myself and others is step one to happiness and peace. Yes, even the idiot who cuts me off in traffic. He gets love and compassion too.

It isn’t always easy. Of course some days I would love to crawl onto the couch with a bottle of wine and sulk. But then what? Perhaps the next day I would want another drink just to take the edge off…
Eventually I would be back hiding from my life in a bottle, all the while believing I had missed my calling and was resigned to live a life of misery. Poor Anne. No one loves her and she is all alone.

Not a chance. 18 months of self awareness and investigation has brought me further than that. Not that I am anywhere near done. I won’t be done until I am dead and hopefully that is a ways away. I have too many idiosyncrasies to work through. lol.

So instead of celebrating with booze I got up this morning and started the day with thank you thank you thank you. I made lunches. I showered and went to work. All with a light heart and a clear mind.

Marveling, as always, that an ordinary life is a miracle. One I want to witness completely.

If you are at the start of your own sober journey I hope you can hear me, even a little. There is freedom to be had a life to be living. Take the step to break the chains of addiction and move towards it.

Stillness and peace

Anne

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57 thoughts on “18 months in

  1. Hi Anne
    yes, congratulations to you. Well deserved and i am thrilled you are enjoying and living life to the full now!
    love from Lisa

  2. Eighteen months! It does seem like an eternity to me. But I am yet to make it my one month mark. I hear you. I read your blog. You inspire me. But somehow I still fail.

    1. I failed many times.
      Finally I gave up and admitted I needed to quit drinking out loud.
      And focused on that. Not drinking.
      Getting through those first anxious and crazy weeks is tough.
      But it is so worth it. Truly. Honestly.
      Just keep trying.

    2. Reaching to both of you Time and Ainsobriety as yesterday was my Day 30 yet I feel very isolated and alone. I have launched myself into sober blog world, reading archive after archive and that has helped so much. I signed up for lovely Belle’s chock full 100 day challenge and have readily embraced sober treats (a delicious raspberry cordial and soda water? Yum! A nice new dress? Sure. Twizzlers for dinner? But of course!) but I am missing a sober community, which is important according to everything I’ve read. I am blown away by your achievement, ainsobriety and in a similar place with you, time and the bottle. I will be following you both and cheering u on!

  3. Dear Anne,
    Lovely post on 18 months!
    It gives me hope to continue on my journey, too!
    Thank you for supporting a bunch of us!
    Love,
    Wendy

  4. Its no small feat!! Congrats and keep on one day at a time. Your words ring so true to me….I celebrate 18 months and my birthday tomorrow (God willing)….such a better life!!!!

  5. Amazing feeling isn’t it? I celebrated 18 months yesterday. The time is just going by now. I still get itchy now and then, but life is so much better sober.
    Keep fighting the good fight!

  6. 18 months! Anne, that’s just… amazing :). Congratulations! Still looking for my own stillness and peace, but I HAVE at least broken those chains you speak of. It’s a wonderful feeling, and one that I sometimes forget to really appreciate. Thanks for reminding me today ;).

  7. Congratulations on 18 months Anne. Great post as always. You inspire me, I really hope I can say I have been sober for 18 months one day! A x

  8. Congratulations! I’m so happy for you. You have been such a source of strength for me. You really deserve the best and I believe life is what we make it. So you deserve the best because you’ve done the best for yourself.

  9. Bravo Anne!!!!! And thank you so much… I am at the beginning of my sobriety journey, and you are a powerful inspiration to me.

  10. Fantastic!!!
    Stillness and peace. That’s what I want as I start yet another day 1. Need to head back to AA

  11. It is so true. I have found my mind playing with thoughts of “celebrating” my one year milestone. Crazy ideas. But they come. I suppose they will always come. We live in a culture that glorifies alcohol as the ultimate celebratory beverage for every achievement. “I’d like to make a toast …” Make mine club soda with fruit, please. I don’t want to risk compromising the happiness that gurgles within me. Even better things lie in store. I know that. I read in your words that you know it too. Sobriety is such a gift. I love being alive!
    Congratulations on your own milestone, Anne. Keep beckoning to others to follow. Your writing is an inspiration.

    1. I’m glad (well, not glad, but relieved) to know I’m not the only one who thinks this way.
      I suppose we all had a time when drinking was fun. And we remember that.
      But it became self destructive. And probably would again.
      That would be a horrible outcome.
      Best to not risk it.
      Let’s hold on to our happiness. It is actually a pretty rare commodity.

  12. As usual, I’m late to the party. A heart-felt congratulations on your 18 months of sobriety, and an equally heart-felt thanks for your great service. This blog shows the newly sober all of the amazing possibilities that await them 🙂

  13. Congrats on your achievement dear Anne…your journey inspires me and your wisdom in your posts resonates with me..thank you for sharing so much with us…18 months is amazing.
    Jenn

  14. Thank you very much, it is so good to hear success. I am at six months alcohol free and doing very well. Reading your comments helps a lot . Thank you.

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