This weekend I went to a fancy gala. I wore a long red dress. I had my hair done, my nails done, my makeup done. 1000 people attend and there is always a great concert as part of the show.
I’ve gone to the annual event for many years. I don’t remember half of them. We always start drinking the fancy drinks at someone’s house before the event. Then we make our way to it and continue the booze train. Sophisticated drunkenness.
This year I was going to skip it, but my FAVOURITE singer from the 80’s was playing. The one whose posters graced my teenage walls. Who hasn’t played in concert in many years. So I decided to go. The date coincided with my 11 month sober mark.
Sober husband and I got dressed up. We looked great, if I do say so myself. We went to the pre party. I drank my rock star and visited and enjoyed myself. I actually felt MORE part of the crowd than ever, even though they were all drinking. In fact, by the time we headed out I was really glad I wasn’t them. Walking in high heels is hard enough sober!
The gala was beautiful. I don’t think I had ever noticed the room before. I wandered around, making small talk, admiring everyone’s dresses. Wine flowed. The line to the bathroom was ridiculous. I was happy not to have to carry a glass with me everywhere I went!
When teenage crush rock star came on stage I was front and centre in the crowd. I felt 14 again. He was still handsome, his voice was great and his songs brought back so many memories. My heart filled with joy that I was there, enjoying his singing, just feet from me.
I was overcome by the moment. The feeling of being present. Of fully embracing life. I know that a year ago I was so busy getting the next drink I barely paid attention to the entertainment. It was a blur. But not that night. That night time stood still and I was so thankful and proud of myself that tears came to my eyes. And all I could think was I am on the right path.
I never want to dull my life again. There are too many moments like this that I might miss.