Today was a regular morning. The alarm rang. I dragged my stiff and sleepy body out of the bed, where I was sleeping with my 9 year old daughter (long story, but let’s just say she’s really cuddly and still loves me and I am sleeping with her until she kicks me out)!
I go downstairs before everyone wakes to get the lunches ready for school. As I walked into the kitchen the coffee was brewing and the sun was streaming into the room.
I had one of those moments. Those moments of pure joy and contentment. A moment where I know, deep in my soul, that I am truly blessed. I am comfortable. I am safe. I am loved. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and peace. I stand still and let it flow over me. Reveling.
And then life goes on. I make the lunches. We get ready for school. I go to work.
I didn’t have these moments when I was drinking. I was too full of regret and self directed anger. I would have seen the dishes on the counter. I would have felt resentment that I needed to get out of bed. I would have felt the monotony of another day, another
This is a gift of sobriety and self awareness. I notice the moment. Even one that might seem insignificant. Perhaps it feels special because I can still remember the horror I felt last year. Or maybe these moments were always there and I was just not seeing them.